he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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