dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
