I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
