So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am one with the molecules
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
