I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize