I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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