I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
