butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
