He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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