I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
