super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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