and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
