Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
