dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize