anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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