omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i dont even know how to be here
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
