Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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