Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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