There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
