Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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