you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
