Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
