i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drake has all the answers
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I touched a dick in church today
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
