I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
