I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My sheets look like a crime scene.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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