we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
