Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
