Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
