Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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