i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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