So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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