Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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