Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
