If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
