you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
