That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
