we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
