i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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