YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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