ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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