She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
