the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
