that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize