She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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