Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
