i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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