I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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