yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
