So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
