i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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