My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
