Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
