We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
