belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
