i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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