Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
