hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
