Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
