Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
