? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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