im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
