it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will be naked everywhere
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
