yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
