Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
