He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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