just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
