10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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