Your dad touched me again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize