so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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