see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
